FIVE THINGS YOU TO KNOW ABOUT INFATUATION
Infatuation is something that we all experience in the course of growing up. But it has been a stumbling block for some in their lives journey. It is good to take a closer look at it so that when it comes your way, you will know how to recognise it and handle it appropriately.
Here are five key points to know about infatuation:
IT’S A PASSION:
Infatuation is a deep, intense passion that you have for someone of the opposite sex. It makes you highly attracted to the person and it becomes very difficult to get the person out of your mind.
- IT’S AN ILLUSION:
When you are infatuated with a man, everything he does becomes good in your sight and you will not be able to see his faults. Your heart jumps when you see him, and you are willing to do just about anything for him. Since you find it hard to put him out of your mind, you will seek every opportunity to be with him, and eventually you are likely to conclude that you have fallen in love with him. If the man happens to make a pass at you, you are likely to just jump at it without crosschecking if it is the wise thing for you to do.
- IT’S A TRANSIENT BUBBLE; IT’S NOT LOVE:
However what makes infatuation undeserving of the type of attention some people give it is that it does not last. This is one major thing that distinguishes infatuation from deep love. That is why it is also called puppy-love. It is common to hear young people talk of love at first sight. But it shows a misunderstanding of the concept of love. You may be attracted at first sight, but you cannot fall in love at first sight because love is more than a feeling. What people call love at first sight is actually infatuation and it is temporal. You can like what you see at first sight but you need to move closer and inspect it some more before the roots go down and it becomes love.
- IT’S A DAYDREAM:
One of the things that make a lady fall readily into infatuation is her imaginative nature. Young ladies are prone to daydreaming. If a lady has always loved tall, soft spoken men who love to play musical instruments she tends to daydream of such even though he does not exist. It becomes more exciting if the girl reads a lot of romantic novels; she would weave a lot of stories around this dream man in her imagination. If she eventually comes across a tall guy who is soft spoken and plays instruments, something starts happening in her heart. Her heart is already tender towards him. If the guy happens to have other qualities that she did not think of before, the soft spot begins to turn into desire. If left unchecked, it steadily grows into a strong passion. She thinks of him often and longs to be near him. This is difficult to hide. The man is likely to enjoy the attention he gets from her so he responds. This will heighten her feelings for him.
A lady is especially vulnerable at this point. If the man is the type that likes to take advantage of women, he will arrange circumstances to make her lose her head by buying gifts, sending SMS, taking her out to exotic places etc. Before long, the relationship looks as if it is the best thing in the world and the girl, without using her mind, will be willing to do anything for the man of her dreams. If she is not careful, she will do things that she will later regret. Unfortunately, as they get more involved with each other, the passion begins to wane. They start seeing each other’s shortcomings. Since there is no real love to sustain it. Eventually the relationship will break as is characteristic of relationships formed out of infatuation.
EFFECTS OF INFATUATION
I am aware that some people encourage young people to get involved with anyone they like as long as the man reciprocates. They feel it’s part of the fun of growing up. But it should not be encouraged because each time a lady goes into a relationship, she goes in with high expectations, but when it breaks up a part of her heart goes with it. In the course of time when she eventually gets into a relationship with the person she is to marry, it becomes difficult to give the person her whole heart. Somehow she has the tendency to keep holding back part of her heart because she had been hurt before. Also, once in a while, she compares her new love with the person she was going out with before. This is unhealthy for a relationship. One other disadvantage of infatuation is that you invest so much in the relationship and you get nothing out of it. What is the essence of loving a man, sharing your heart with him, spending y our time and money on the relationship and at the end of the day, both of you break up?