Culled out from ‘the Budding Flower’ by Jadesola Adepeju

Everyone likes to be loved. We all want people to love us and miss us when we are not around. But you will notice it does not happen automatically, some always have people who want to be with them, but some other girls don’t have people who like them. Many times, it is a girls’ behaviour that makes people avoid her. Here are five things to do that will make people love your company:

  1. CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS: Learn not to let what you are passing through determine your behaviour. The other day, I witnessed a teenage girl being rebuked by her mother. She got so annoyed that she walked out on her mum and slammed the door. The fact that you are a teenager undergoing changes is not an excuse for you to misbehave towards people around you. Always address people with courtesy. Do not be provoked to shouting when talking with others. Don’t slam doors or bang plates when you are unhappy. These are childish reactions to unpleasant situations, but always remind yourself that you are no longer a child.
  3. FREE YOUR HEART: When a person refuses to let go of unpleasant information about others, it acts as a pressure on the heart. For example, when someone does something that hurts you and you keep the hurt instead of forgetting the issue, each time something similar happens it brings out the old hurt and you have fresh feelings of pain and anger. If anyone comes around whose looks or behaviour reminds you of your past experience, your heart will react against the person. This will develop into a root of bitterness in you. When you are bitter, your joy will be reduced, and it will reflect on your appearance. This will make you unattractive to people. If you have such a problem, let go of the past and release your heart to love people. If you find this difficult to do, pray to God for help. You should also seek counsel from a mature Christian.
  5. BE CONSIDERATE: Anywhere you meet Tope you can be sure that she will only talk about the three most important people in her life. They are Tope, Tope and herself. When she feels sad, then everybody must suffer for it as she begins to throw tantrums like a little baby. She is usually miserable and has lots of complaints about almost everything and everyone except herself. This is a display of selfishness. Selfishness is a very common habit. It is an attitude of thinking about yourself and your own feelings alone. When you are selfish, people will not enjoy your company, so they will avoid you. This will make you feel rejected and you will start feeling sorry for yourself. Practise being considerate, realise that others also have feelings. Think about how to make life better for others and soon you will be fun to be with.

    Laughter is a priceless jewel. When you laugh, you’re more relaxed and you’re able to see the sunny side of life. I heard the story of a woman who stumbled and fell while walking up a platform to receive an award, everybody fell silent in the hall, but she got up, dust her dress and told the crowd that that was how she usually got up each time she fell in her strive for excellence and that’s how she became qualified for the award which she was about to receive. Everybody laughed. One of the ways a girl can love herself is to develop a sense of humor. Learn to laugh at yourself when you make silly mistakes; no human being is infallible, we all make mistakes. When you’re under tension, think of something good about your situation, and from it, generate a genuine smile. When there’s something to laugh about, go ahead and have a good laugh.
  9. BE COURTEOUS: Learn to say “sorry”, “excuse me”, “please” and “thank you”. These are very important words for you to learn at this stage. Say “sorry” when you inconvenience or hurt others. Say “excuse me” when what you are about to do or when what you just did caused or will cause discomfort or irritation to other people. Say ”please” when you want to request for help or instruct others to do things and do not forget to say “thank you” for any good thing anyone does for you no matter how little. When you do these, the challenges confronting you will not be able to distort your attitude to life; your attitude will be softened by the joy that comes to an unselfish life. Courtesy costs nothing, but it buys many things.